rio_luna5: (winter river)
[personal profile] rio_luna5
so yesterday, I was all set for Imbolc shenanigans at a druid cabal up north. My food was still cooking, and since i i didnt feel okay turn ing up without food, i didnt go.

no worries, i thought, i will go to OtherDruids here in the SE, only when time to leave for that cme, the 4 of us were piled up on the sofa, watching a foolish movie. Aarn was hanging wth us, the girls were not fighting, how could extract myself to go drive in the snow to ritual? it felt contrived and nt organic. so we stayed home, and ate the chicken wings i made.

no worries, i thought, i'm still going to the SuperDuper Imbolc early tomorrow at the Mercury cafe. My coven sisters were to meet me, it was family-oriented so yea kids, and someone had brought Azrael & Arynn K to town to lead a workshop (yesterday) and ritual this morning). i went about my night, I even wrte and published a blog post about Hecte's Feast and then i was just so tired, and i felt too tired to go out and lay the libation and when i checked the window it was snowing, in earnest. It had been spitting and flurrying for over day, on and off, but this was a light but determined shower, it poured down like sugar, swift and soft and silent, and you could tell it meant to stay like that for a while. tere was no wind and the cloud pack was dense as hell, there was visibility.

when i woke up to 6 inches and a slight headache, i was very much like, fuck this sideways Hugo. i had managed on saturdsy to get in the groceries, to get to the rec center to sign up, to cook and clean and get in some altar time and even write. i was on a fucking roll. but shoveling out 6 inches of powder so i could slip and slide all the way to the Mercury with cherise in tow, while it was snowing, seemed foolish, a bad allocation of resources. since one sister had a;ready bpwed out the night before, i was just like, this is Mercury retro but it also solid Guidance. what i need is not out there today.

i am still in pjs and i a okay with this.

i dislike hving my cmmon area taken up by FIL, most of which is because i dont feel like i can use the space for yoga or exercise or for ritual, certainly, but i do take it back long enough to do 20 minutes of yoga and shiva nata, and that was wonderful. But it does refer back to my 2015 reading--the Hermit was the Crossing Card. I read crosses as both obstacles to and bridges INTO, since it links the going out and the coming in. Since this whole year is involved in spirituality and priestessing, how is the Hermit a bridge and an obstacle? well, i sure am not out in community when i'm home obviously. ANd since the medicine card i pulled for the work of the year was Mountain Lion - Leadership - quiet repose at home does not align with that.

i am notiicng that this is nOT the first or even the third year, that my plans for Imbolc out somehwere got ratfucked, and mayeb this is a feature, not a bug, that my Imbolc needs to be a solitary or family event. maybe now that Cherise is older and wants to participate in ritual (lu has no interest), maybe Imbolc wants to be a family or solo event. so even though cherise and i both really wanted to go out to some of these things, i am intrigued about being at home today. I have no lack of things to do, scred or mundane, and no real reason to go out.

it feels very cozy.

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October 2016

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